Firstly, to develop more optimism adopt an approach that (a) that is less“It’s me”, and more “things happen, everything is not within my control or even my responsibility”), (b) describes any bad event not as “It’s forever”, but more “It’s only temporary, a passing phase”), and (c) describe bad events not as “It’s everything”, but more of “It’s this specific thing.

Explanatory style hints at what to focus on to become more optimistic. It also requires that we tune in to our internal dialogue. What do you say to yourself when you encounter difficulties? Whatever your internal dialogue is you can improve it by using a simple technique – ABCDE. Let me explain:

1. Adversity – Describe the event that can be considered adverse or bad. For example, ten people said no to my offer.

2. Belief – Describe your belief about the event. For example, “I am a pathetic and idiotic salesperson. No-one likes my product. My product will never be popular or saleable.”

3. Consequences – Describe the consequences if you hold to this belief. What will the future (immediate or long term) look like? For example, “Making a sales call is a waste of time. I can just as well sit in the office and wait for the time to pass. Eventually I will be fired, but what can I do? I did not make myself and I cannot change the product or the customers. I am quite helpless.” By now most of us would be fairly down and depressed.

The above three is about focusing on and identifying your explanation. The following two is about changing it.

4. Dispute – Start disputing the belief you hold by considering the:

a. Evidence – what evidence is there for the belief I hold? The cold hard facts. For example, “I only saw 10 people, there are thousands more, so 10 is hardly representative. Many of them were friendly and supportive.”

b. Alternatives – what alternatives are there to the belief I hold? For example, “I struck the wrong people, I may have made a few mistakes in some cases but overall I probably did well. People like the product but not to buy. Some may already have something similar.”

c. Implications – What are the implications for me and my company if I continue to hold these beliefs? Is it really as bad as I make it to be? For example “ I can be reassigned to another product line or focus on the other products I have to sell. I can reassess and refocus on a different target market. I can change how I present the product to appeal to different markets/customers.”

d. Usefulness – How useful are these beliefs, do they promote my welfare and interest or do they run contrary to my own interests? For example, “These beliefs are totally useless in that they only make me feel helpless and can even start a process whereby I will self-destruct.”

5. Energize – Observe how you are energized as you deal with each issue in the above manner (ABCD). No example is needed here. This is the result of implementing all the previous suggestions.

Develop a habit of using the ABCDE technique, and create a more optimistic outlook across the three key elements that determine your optimism, namely how personal, permanent and pervasive (universal) you view bad events.

To create a greater degree of optimism within yourself and towards life you should explain what happens to you more positively. You can do this by explaining events in terms of three aspects – Personal, Permanent, Pervasive (Universal).

1. Personal

To what extent do you personalize and ascribe bad events to yourself? Do do you tend to internalize or externalize the reasons for anything that happened to you? Simply put do you say “It’s all me, it’s my fault”, or do you say “Something else caused this, it’s not my fault”. The heroic view is that we need to be accountable and take personal responsibility. Entrepreneurs and self-employed people by nature seem to take personal responsibility. However, internalizing and taking personal responsibility do not create optimism. To develop optimism we need to shift some of the “blame” elsewhere (externalize events). Take less personal responsibility and “blame” and adopt more of a “that’s life” philosophy. Do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but allow the world to carry its own weight.

OPTIMISM REQUIRES: Take less personal responsibility and “blame” and adopt more of a “that’s life” philosophy.

2. Permanent

When something bad happens do you assume that the cause is permanent or temporary? Do you tell yourself that this will stay like that forever or do you regard it as temporary/ a passing phase? When we look at challenges and believe they will never go away, that we will always have this as a problem, it can sap your spirit and enthusiasm. Don’t do that to yourself but remember the phrase “this too will pass”.

OPTIMISM REQUIRES: Describe any bad event as temporary, as a passing phase.

3. Pervasive (Universal)

When something bad happens do you assume that the cause is universal and all-encompassing or that it is something specific or limited in its extent? Do you tell yourself that everything or everybody “is like this” or do you rather say “in this specific instance that was the case”? Taking any challenge and developing a belief that your whole community, the whole country, everybody will always be “like this” and never change is not realistic. The world and people do change. Nothing stays the same forever, not even the continents (given enough time).

OPTIMISM REQUIRES: Make bad events specific and don’t make it a catastrophe.

IN SUMMARY

To develop more optimism and hope within yourself adopt an approach that (a) takes less personal responsibility and “blame” and adopt more of a “that’s life” philosophy (not “It’s me”, but “things happen, everything is not within my control or even my responsibility”), (b) describes any bad event as temporary, as a passing phase (not “It’s forever”, but “It’s only temporary, a passing phase”), (c)make bad events specific and don’t make it a catastrophe (not “It’s everything”, but “It’s this specific thing”).

A visionary in business is not someone who has some special, almost magical insight, into what the future holds.  It is not insight that has been gained after spending time on some mist-covered mountain.  Great leaders, it seems to be believed, has great vision.  Great leaders are also practical, with their feet firmly planted on the ground.  They seldom distance themselves from their followers, and those who do eventually come to a fall.  A vision is no more than a picture, in your mind, of what you want in the future.  It is not fixed, but changes with time, as you change and as your priorities change.

Develop your business vision in the same way as your personal vision.  Develop a picture of the future, starting with the end in mind.  This should simply be a clear goal and a direction for the business, towards which the people involved with and working in the business can be oriented.  The vision should convey a simple message about where the business intends going in the near to distant future. Where do you see your business going, what would you like it to achieve?  What do you have in mind for your business?  What is your primary aim?  These questions should provide a useful starting point.

In order to clarify your vision the following questions are useful to consider:

1. Why am I in business?
2. What is my vision and mission for this business?
3. What are the values of this company and how are they expressed or honoured?
4. What have I done in the last 6 months to demonstrate my belief about my business and its values? – To my customers, colleagues and employees.
5. Where do I see this business five years, ten years, twenty years from now?
6. What do I see the business doing?  Is it the best in your city, the region, the country?  Is it small and known for its excellent quality and service?  Is it large and known for being able to deliver quickly and almost anything the customers wants?
7. What reputation does the business have?
8. What kind of turnover/ sales are being made, what is the profit?
9. How strong is the competition?  How many copy-cats are there?

The difference between a vision and setting goals does not lie in what we are considering. When developing a vision the picture you paint in your mind shows what is possible.  You describe what you want, what you dream about, but still within the realm of possibility.  Goals on the other hand should be set clearly, be measurable, with a definite time-frame and a clear delivery or end date.

1. Strike a balance.

Cover each part of the program or system and don’t just “cherry pick” the parts your like. Get out of your comfort zone and evaluate areas which you may have avoided.  It may be due to bad experiences in the past, or you may simply not consider it important.  Address it anyway, since this is about reflection and being open-minded.

2. Seek to understand yourself and what makes you tick.

Why do we do the things we do?  What motivates me?  We all do things for very good reasons.  Even if we do something that appears irrational or damaging to ourselves, we do it because somewhere in our unconscious mind we believe it will be good for us.  Identify these outcomes and the reasoning behind your behavior.

3. Be honest.

You are neither a complete success nor a complete failure. Don’t rationalize and explain away failure (Its not my fault, the market was down, money is tight) or success (I was lucky, anyone could have done it, it’s not such a big deal).  Face it, acknowledge it. Be truthful with yourself.

4. Acknowledge what works in your life and what does not

Do what works. Identify the rewards that drive your behavior and that of others. Control the rewards to control your life.  Are the rewards you are getting from your current behavior what you really want? Get real with yourself and everybody else.  Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life.  Stop making excuses and start making results.

5. Recognize that life rewards action

It is not what we plan and say that gets us the results we want.  It is what we do about it.  Most programs and systems require a degree of reflection of your part, but let’s remember that it should be followed by consistent and focused action to achieve our dreams.

6. Be clear about what you really want, and then get out there and claim it

Make sure that what you are aiming for in life is what you really want.  Do this thoroughly and once you have duly reflected and considered all angles, take action.

7. Focus on making the future happen, not fixing the past

Keep this focus.  Consider what you really want and evaluate your current success in the light of whether it is supporting the attainment of your dreams.  Learn from your past, don’t try and fix it.  Rather build the future.

Finally, remember that embarking on any program requires commitment.  Also keep in mind that the person who developed the program has thought about it and have developed it in a way that they believe will produce the best results. Trust their judgement and follow their instructions. Once you have mastered what they are teaching you could adapt and follow your own initiative.

The first rule of business is that you have to make a profit.  Not just Money, but Profit.  Not sales, not the best quality product, not the best-tasting donuts in town, but profit.  It cannot be emphasized enough. You have to earn more than you spend. This is not to say that you have to be mean and miserly and think of nothing else.  You merely have to spend less than you earn.  It’s a simple business reality.  Without profit you cannot stay in business very long.

Imagine this. Every customer likes you. Every customer thinks you provide the best value for money. Every customer thinks your service is superb. Every product you sell costs your more than the price. Being liked, having the best product and service does not guarantee success.

Now imagine this: Your profit margin is high. You product is the best. Your service is superb. If only the market knew about this, but it doesn’t so you have no customer, and hence no sales.

By focusing only on profit or only on customers you could fool yourself into believing everything is going well. Getting these two goals of high profit and many customers is the real challenge.

If you make a good profit it is usually an indication that you are doing everything well enough.  The purpose is therefore not to become an expert in every business topic, but to gain enough competence and understanding to implement those aspects that will increase your business’ profits, set the stage for growth, and provide more time for you, your family and friends. Of course there is more to life than money, but in business profit is king. You should challenge yourself to think and reflect deeply how your customers will help you achieve a profit.

There is no secret formula which, if applied, will make you inordinately rich, deliver more free time than you have hours in a day, and take only five minutes of your time.  Success requires that we formulate a clear purpose (vision, goals etc.), develop effective strategies (in other words strategies that will result in your attaining your goals), take action to implement our strategies, focus on the results we are achieving, and persist until we succeed.

Above all focusing on delivering value to customers with distinction and excellence will keep you on the road to success. You won’t make profit without customers but you won’t be able to serve your customers if you go out of business due to a lack of profit. Two peas in a pod – one cannot exist without the other.

1. Cultivate networks. Entrepreneurs as well as other business professionals know the great need for great networks. It is a great contributor towards business success. Make sure you identify and maintain contact with your key peers, mentors as well as advisers within your selected field. Remember that relations require give and take so make sure you help them too. This kind of reciprocal network can be a source of help, direction as well as a larger number of support individuals will you need assistance .
2. Customer focus. One key to business success demands steadfast commitment to the client. Learning about your client’s world is a crucial attitude of this commitment. All of their wants as well as needs must be taken into account. Meet and exceed their expectations – consistently – as this will contribute towards business success by developing a satisfied and loyal customer base. Give attention to what you can do for them to enhance their life as well and not just treat them solely as a source of business and profits.
3. Know yourself. A prosperous life and business requires that you should be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Assess yourself and your business and be open and also honest with yourself. What are you good at? What do you suck at? Think carefully and make your best assessment. This is the path to self awareness which in turn will help business achievement, so take time to know your own self and also your company.
4. Flexibility. Achievements in life as well as business requires the capability to adapt to ever changing situations . You should always have various backup strategies and be prepared to recognize when you need to use it. This world is filled with surprises and also unexpected events. The best of plans can be derailed by some surprise which “can never happen”. Famous last words of the failing business. Being flexible will help you respond by making course adjustments without being disabled by anxiety and also uncertainty. It will also help you to bounce back when problems arise.

So, how are you doing and do you need help? Do not be afraid to ask for help, and remember, most coaches will give you a free initial consultation. Make use of it, and do not feel guilty if you do not sign up to their services. After all, you are doing them a favor by letting them present themselves to you.

An interesting blog I recently read is Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware, who worked in palliative care. She lists 5 regrets of the dying. These are:

1. Not having the courage to live a life true to themselves, rather than the life others expected of them.  (most common)
2. Having worked too hard (all the males)
3. Not having the courage to express their feelings.
4. Not staying in touch with friends.
5. Not allowing themselves to be happier.

The keys to success in life are to take action to prevent this from happening. Obvious isn’t it?

So why do so many of us fail to act on this knowledge? I often wonder.

Rather than trying to analyze ourselves and trying to root out some real or imagined deep-seated psychological blockage, or try to get the definitive set of keys to success in life, let’s take some simple actions. Here are my suggestions for (1) something to reflect on and (2) practical suggestions.

• First, allow yourself to be happier. Realize that happiness is a choice, not an externally imposed condition you have no control of. Notice the sheer joy and happiness of children in some poverty stricken areas of this world? If they can be happy so can we.

• Practical suggestion: Put a deliberate smile on your face and keep it up for 5 minutes. Reflect on what difference you feel and why.

• Second, phone three friends. One friend that you contact regularly. One that you have not contacted for a few weeks, and one you have not contacted in a year. Just do it. Mention this blog or Bonnie’s blog.

• Practical suggestion: Schedule the time for this if you cannot do it now. Tell a someone close to you (that your trust) what you intend doing and ask them to call you to account.

• Thirdly, list three feelings you tend to suppress. Determine how you could express them (avoid hurting others in doing so), and then do so with three people.

• Practical suggestion: Pick one person that is easy to talk to, one that is slightly uncomfortable to talk to and one that tends to be difficult to talk to.

• Fourthly, reflect on how much you work. Reflect of what you may be doing that is unnecessary.

• Practical suggestion: List three things that you do that are unnecessary. Resolve to stop doing one of them for one day a week, then gradually increase this to 2, 3 etc. days and even add more things in later weeks, 2nd, 3rd etc .

• Fifth and last. Reconsider the previous four suggestions. If you apply these suggestions you should already be on the road defining you own keys to success in life. Reflect on this and start designing your own idea life. The free program download has some material that will be useful in this, even if you do not want to do the whole program.

I think the keys to success in life is not a matter of a magic solution or recipe, but listening to the wisdom of others, especially those that have the least reason to con you, and take steps to avoid what they regret.

So what are the keys to success in life? Whatever gives you what you value and treasure in life.

What is life coaching really? It is about helping you to live the life you want to, achieve your goals, and take action. The focus is primarily on moving forward and achievement. It is not focused on the past or to sort out issues.

Now that I have said that life coaching is essentially what you make of it. If you regards life coaching and someone helping you live a better life, or to overcome obstacles, or to feel better then that is what it is. Definitions should not constrain you but provide helpful guidance.

Life coaching is not therapy. If you are content to receive therapy from a person that has not experience and qualifications then again – that is you choice. However, unless your coach is also a qualified therapist and registered with a credible professional body then my advice is to avoid them. When people want to stuff around with your emotions or with your physical body use a qualified professional. Take me as an example. I am an expert in leadership and management. I can prove it with qualifications as well as experience. I can give you advice on various business related topics. Even though I have qualifications in psychology I am not a registered psychologist and avoid anything approaching therapy. Life coaching can provide you with a sort of paid friend, who will show an interest in your well-being, but should keep it to helping you achieve.

A coach who engages in therapy is going beyond what they should in my view. The good guys don’t, except if they are also a qualified psychologist (like Philip Humbert). I have personally receive his e-mail newsletter for 14 years and he has not missed one week. Even if you are interested in what I have to offer, I would encourage you to sign up to his e-mails (no I get no commission from this, just think he deserves a plug).

I do life coaching, but only on a limited basis. This is by choice. I prefer to work with people on their business and career goals, and not life goals as such. I hope you find a good coach, and wish you the life you truly want.

If you are not ready for personal coaching please try my FREE personal and business development program.

The main reason for personal business coaching is that it is a real human being you are interacting with. The major downside is that it is more expensive. Self-help approaches are always much cheaper. Downloadable content takes no on-going effort so no need to charge too much. At the same time the old saying “you get what you pay for” holds true here. However, by doing it over the telephone, internet, or in small group the cost can be reduced. These are are good alternatives to personal business coaching.

Let’s consider a scenario to put the expense of coaching in perspective. If you are in business for yourself I assume you want to earn more than you do than if you had a job. You probably want to earn at least the same as at a job (at the outset not in the long term). A person capable of starting their own business should probably  earn at least a 6-figure income ($100,000+). Let’s half this for now. If you spend about $300 per month on coaching ($3,600 per year) then you should ask yourself if this will deliver the same amount of value. Can personal business coaching result in greater income (10% of $50,000 = $5,000), or did it result in a better work/life balance, or did it results in greater well-being? Coaching cannot always be subjected to a cold numbers game (like I did just before), although it does put the expense in perspective. Only saying it cannot be measured in dollars could be a cop-out to avoid accounting for the expense of coaching.

What are the benefits of personal business coaching?  Pure and simple.  A person who holds you to account to achieve your goals.  If this is done well the results will speak for themselves.  What those results are should be determined by no-one else but you. It is also good to determine what you want from personal business coaching before starting, so that you can evaluate progress and results.

Eric Schmidt (Google CEO and estimated one of top 150 wealthiest individuals in the world) has this to say about personal business coaching. Check it out.

If you are not ready for coaching but want to make some start then try my FREE personal and business development program.

Best wishes with your journey.

Business coaching ought to have a strategic emphasis. The purpose of personal business coaching is to:

• keep you to account,
• focus you on your strategy,
• provide expert help with strategic decisions.

The main focus should be the overall business system, and whether this system will continue to deliver results in the future. Every part of your business needs attention. It should be managed to ensure that long term goals are prepared and the plans to achieve them are implemented. All the while an eye needs to be kept on cash flow while maintaining your profit. You can see that personal business coaching should ideally be conducted by a person knowledgeable and experienced in business, and your coach ought to adopt the following type of approach:

1. A Long Term Perspective (Big Picture View)
2. Define and Focus on Key Results (Profit, Sales)
3. Regards the business as a system and identify the key components that will deliver results
4. Ask whether the system is working and delivering results?

Ensure that the coach demonstrates the skills you will need. A simple presentation of what can be done is not good enough. A personal and business coach should demonstrate that they have the expertise, can apply this to your benefit, and so that it suits your own style, preferences and needs.  Your coach should also focus on your life – how you will achieve success. Focusing only on business and neglecting ‘touchy-feely’ stuff like your dreams may leave important stones unturned. The following are some of the points you should expect your personal business coach to focus on:

1. Reflection and balance in the goal you set
2. Gaining clear purpose and formulating goals
3. Ask “What is working and what is not working?”, “What will work better?” This is better than following only cookie-cutter recipes for business planning. You want reflection and original thinking.
4. Your well-being (positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement)

Life is about more than business. It is about getting what you really want. Ask what will give you greater well-being. Imagine how different your life could be if you manage yourself each day to do what matters most to you. A personal business coach should focus on business goals such as sales and profit, but also on goals that enrich your life.

Lastly, everything is negotiable. This may not go for special offers and radical discounts, so trying to negotiate a lower amount when the deal is already a good one may not be the way to go. It is reasonable to want to check things out first, and pay no upfront fees until you are sure the personal business coach is the one you want. Try to get a monthly fee with no upfront payments. That way you can stop the coaching with only a relatively small amount at risk.

But…

Do not wait till the season or the time is right. Do not look for the perfect coach. Give it a try, and do something positive about the goals of importance to you.

You can contact me or maybe you just want to check things out and download my FREE personal and business development program.