An interesting blog I recently read is Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware, who worked in palliative care. She lists 5 regrets of the dying. These are:

1. Not having the courage to live a life true to themselves, rather than the life others expected of them.  (most common)
2. Having worked too hard (all the males)
3. Not having the courage to express their feelings.
4. Not staying in touch with friends.
5. Not allowing themselves to be happier.

The keys to success in life are to take action to prevent this from happening. Obvious isn’t it?

So why do so many of us fail to act on this knowledge? I often wonder.

Rather than trying to analyze ourselves and trying to root out some real or imagined deep-seated psychological blockage, or try to get the definitive set of keys to success in life, let’s take some simple actions. Here are my suggestions for (1) something to reflect on and (2) practical suggestions.

• First, allow yourself to be happier. Realize that happiness is a choice, not an externally imposed condition you have no control of. Notice the sheer joy and happiness of children in some poverty stricken areas of this world? If they can be happy so can we.

• Practical suggestion: Put a deliberate smile on your face and keep it up for 5 minutes. Reflect on what difference you feel and why.

• Second, phone three friends. One friend that you contact regularly. One that you have not contacted for a few weeks, and one you have not contacted in a year. Just do it. Mention this blog or Bonnie’s blog.

• Practical suggestion: Schedule the time for this if you cannot do it now. Tell a someone close to you (that your trust) what you intend doing and ask them to call you to account.

• Thirdly, list three feelings you tend to suppress. Determine how you could express them (avoid hurting others in doing so), and then do so with three people.

• Practical suggestion: Pick one person that is easy to talk to, one that is slightly uncomfortable to talk to and one that tends to be difficult to talk to.

• Fourthly, reflect on how much you work. Reflect of what you may be doing that is unnecessary.

• Practical suggestion: List three things that you do that are unnecessary. Resolve to stop doing one of them for one day a week, then gradually increase this to 2, 3 etc. days and even add more things in later weeks, 2nd, 3rd etc .

• Fifth and last. Reconsider the previous four suggestions. If you apply these suggestions you should already be on the road defining you own keys to success in life. Reflect on this and start designing your own idea life. The free program download has some material that will be useful in this, even if you do not want to do the whole program.

I think the keys to success in life is not a matter of a magic solution or recipe, but listening to the wisdom of others, especially those that have the least reason to con you, and take steps to avoid what they regret.

So what are the keys to success in life? Whatever gives you what you value and treasure in life.

What is life coaching really? It is about helping you to live the life you want to, achieve your goals, and take action. The focus is primarily on moving forward and achievement. It is not focused on the past or to sort out issues.

Now that I have said that life coaching is essentially what you make of it. If you regards life coaching and someone helping you live a better life, or to overcome obstacles, or to feel better then that is what it is. Definitions should not constrain you but provide helpful guidance.

Life coaching is not therapy. If you are content to receive therapy from a person that has not experience and qualifications then again – that is you choice. However, unless your coach is also a qualified therapist and registered with a credible professional body then my advice is to avoid them. When people want to stuff around with your emotions or with your physical body use a qualified professional. Take me as an example. I am an expert in leadership and management. I can prove it with qualifications as well as experience. I can give you advice on various business related topics. Even though I have qualifications in psychology I am not a registered psychologist and avoid anything approaching therapy. Life coaching can provide you with a sort of paid friend, who will show an interest in your well-being, but should keep it to helping you achieve.

A coach who engages in therapy is going beyond what they should in my view. The good guys don’t, except if they are also a qualified psychologist (like Philip Humbert). I have personally receive his e-mail newsletter for 14 years and he has not missed one week. Even if you are interested in what I have to offer, I would encourage you to sign up to his e-mails (no I get no commission from this, just think he deserves a plug).

I do life coaching, but only on a limited basis. This is by choice. I prefer to work with people on their business and career goals, and not life goals as such. I hope you find a good coach, and wish you the life you truly want.

If you are not ready for personal coaching please try my FREE personal and business development program.

The main reason for personal business coaching is that it is a real human being you are interacting with. The major downside is that it is more expensive. Self-help approaches are always much cheaper. Downloadable content takes no on-going effort so no need to charge too much. At the same time the old saying “you get what you pay for” holds true here. However, by doing it over the telephone, internet, or in small group the cost can be reduced. These are are good alternatives to personal business coaching.

Let’s consider a scenario to put the expense of coaching in perspective. If you are in business for yourself I assume you want to earn more than you do than if you had a job. You probably want to earn at least the same as at a job (at the outset not in the long term). A person capable of starting their own business should probably  earn at least a 6-figure income ($100,000+). Let’s half this for now. If you spend about $300 per month on coaching ($3,600 per year) then you should ask yourself if this will deliver the same amount of value. Can personal business coaching result in greater income (10% of $50,000 = $5,000), or did it result in a better work/life balance, or did it results in greater well-being? Coaching cannot always be subjected to a cold numbers game (like I did just before), although it does put the expense in perspective. Only saying it cannot be measured in dollars could be a cop-out to avoid accounting for the expense of coaching.

What are the benefits of personal business coaching?  Pure and simple.  A person who holds you to account to achieve your goals.  If this is done well the results will speak for themselves.  What those results are should be determined by no-one else but you. It is also good to determine what you want from personal business coaching before starting, so that you can evaluate progress and results.

If you are not ready for this but want to make some start then try my FREE personal and business development program.

Best wishes with your journey.

Business coaching ought to have a strategic emphasis. The purpose of personal business coaching is to:

• keep you to account,
• focus you on your strategy,
• provide expert help with strategic decisions.

The main focus should be the overall business system, and whether this system will continue to deliver results in the future. Every part of your business needs attention. It should be managed to ensure that long term goals are prepared and the plans to achieve them are implemented. All the while an eye needs to be kept on cash flow while maintaining your profit. You can see that personal business coaching should ideally be conducted by a person knowledgeable and experienced in business, and your coach ought to adopt the following type of approach:

1. A Long Term Perspective (Big Picture View)
2. Define and Focus on Key Results (Profit, Sales)
3. Regards the business as a system and identify the key components that will deliver results
4. Ask whether the system is working and delivering results?

Ensure that the coach demonstrates the skills you will need. A simple presentation of what can be done is not good enough. A personal and business coach should demonstrate that they have the expertise, can apply this to your benefit, and so that it suits your own style, preferences and needs.  Your coach should also focus on your life – how you will achieve success. Focusing only on business and neglecting ‘touchy-feely’ stuff like your dreams may leave important stones unturned. The following are some of the points you should expect your personal business coach to focus on:

1. Reflection and balance in the goal you set
2. Gaining clear purpose and formulating goals
3. Ask “What is working and what is not working?”, “What will work better?” This is better than following only cookie-cutter recipes for business planning. You want reflection and original thinking.
4. Your well-being (positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement)

Life is about more than business. It is about getting what you really want. Ask what will give you greater well-being. Imagine how different your life could be if you manage yourself each day to do what matters most to you. A personal business coach should focus on business goals such as sales and profit, but also on goals that enrich your life.

Lastly, everything is negotiable. This may not go for special offers and radical discounts, so trying to negotiate a lower amount when the deal is already a good one may not be the way to go. It is reasonable to want to check things out first, and pay no upfront fees until you are sure the personal business coach is the one you want. Try to get a monthly fee with no upfront payments. That way you can stop the coaching with only a relatively small amount at risk.

But…

Do not wait till the season or the time is right. Do not look for the perfect coach. Give it a try, and do something positive about the goals of importance to you.

You can contact me or maybe you just want to check things out and download my FREE personal and business development program.

Take a step-by-step approach, that is the key in learning how to write a business plan for small business. That is what I am going to do here, and not just provide a business plan outline or template (you can get one here – How to make a business plan).

First, reflect carefully on your reasons for starting a business. Then investigate the benefits that experts say you get from business. Do your expectations and these benefits match? If not tread carefully.

Second, reflect on your passion, skills and talents. Does the business you intend starting match this?

Third, who will you help/ serve/ benefit?

Fourth, what do they need?

Do not go further unless you know exactly what the answers are and ideally discuss it with someone you trust. No, not your dog, someone who can talk back and ask difficult questions.

Lastly, write a simple step-by-step blueprint for how you will run this business, what goals you want to achieve (you can get a template here – How to make a business plan). Do this in one sitting, and do it quickly.

Now you can reflect on how to write a business plan for small business, and you will realize that it is not matter of being following a recipe. It is one of getting your own motivation and thinking straight. Once you have thought through the questions above you can rewrite your business plan in more detail.

At this stage there is no shame in deciding that this is not for you and that you would rather work for someone. Most people do. Furthermore, in today’s economic climate, people may become desperate for and income. Starting your own business may seem the best solution. This could be true and have worked for many people, but without considering the questions above you may be kicking a hornet’s nest. Making a living is not a good enough reason for starting a business with all the hard work that goes with that. Be sure of what you really want, and if it is your own business, then commit to that.

This simple approach should help you focus on the important stuff and progress. Understand the big picture and then fill in the detail. Remember you are the pilot, not the maintenance crew, or the flight attendant, or the baggage handler. Stay focused on being the pilot of your business.

Small business coaching – the essentials

Firstly, it should definitely focus on the issues mentioned first – focus, moving forward, overcoming obstacles etc. However, for small business coaching to be successful your coach should have an understanding of business principles and issues. This understanding should include the fact that corporate business are very different from small businesses, which are often owner-operated, or at least the owner(s) have strong control over the business.

Secondly, the coaching needs to incorporate small business planning components. Small business coaching cannot succeed if you at least do not consider Sales and Profit, Customers and Markets which are often the focus on any goals. Then all the other planning components should be considered. Small business coaching should be merely providing you with a sounding board and someone who encourages you to success. It should help you uncover obstacles to success, related to key business planning components. An important consideration in my view, is that most academic and other training institutions focus on large, corporate businesses, and their education is therefore geared towards that. All of these are not appropriate for a small business, and it can even be damaging. Be sure that you do not use a coach that wants to ‘corporatize’ your business.

Thirdly and lastly, life is about more than money and business. Small business coaching therefore needs to explore some life coaching related issues. At the least the questions needs to be asked whether the person is living to work or working to live. In my view your business should help you lead the life you want to lead. You life should not be sacrificed so that you can achieve business success.

If you want to see more about my approach to coaching have a look at my Business Coaching and Life Coaching links above.

What is life coaching?

The essence of coaching is that you are helped by someone to focus on and reach your goals. This may entail looking at issues you need to deal with. A coach should focus you on moving forward, dealing with obstacles and persisting with your dreams and goals.

Be warned, if the coach wanders into counseling, therapy or psychology you should be wary. Counselors, therapist and psychologists have to adhere to strict professional ethics and must be a member of an appropriate organization, which usually requires both formal qualifications and some form of internship. Coaches do not have the same requirements. This does not detract from their value, as long as they stick to what they should do – help you focus, overcome obstacles and move forward. The exception is when the coach is also a qualified psychologist or therapist. However, then you should watch that the focus is on achievement, and no solely on solving psychological issues.

What is online life coaching?

It should be no different, except that you do not meet the coach in person and the sessions can be run via Telephone, Skype, or Webinar software. However, if you have no personal contact with the coach, which will make the ‘life coaching’ much cheaper, you cannot really call it coaching any more. Calling it online life coaching does not qualify it as coaching merely because it is using modern technology. Automated programs and systems, such as personality assessments, and goal-setting systems cannot be called coaching or mentoring. A machine will never question your assessment of yourself, it will never challenge you, it will not look at your potential and encourage you to persist and succeed. Machines have no soul and cannot do what only a human being is equipped to do.

Can automated online life coaching still be valuable?

Yes, but only if you recognize the limitations. Essentially such systems provide an enhanced form of self-awareness, self-analysis and feedback. They can even serve to remind you of important actions to take on the road to reaching you goals. If automated systems are used in conjunction with personal session that can be very powerful, and deliver great value.

In summary, coaching cannot be delivered in an automated fashion. That is essentially and enhanced from of self-analysis. You need personal interaction with a real person. Automated systems coupled with periodic personal session could be very powerful. Online life coaching that relies only on automated systems and no personal interaction may disappoint you. Try the real thing first – initial consultations are usually free of very reasonably priced.

I have read widely about how to achieve goals, and many other business topics. I find that there are very good advice, but much of it is complicated and difficult to remember. If there is one book I would recommend, it is “Succeed: How we can reach our goals” by Heidi Grant Halvorsen.

Following are some ideas on how to achieve goals, or put another way, how to stack the odds in your favor. I have tried to make it simple and easy-to remember. “Easy to do” is something I cannot promise.

How to achieve goals in four steps

Firstly, set goal that are SMART and challenging. This simply means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Click these links to read more about smart goals and smart goals examples.

Secondly set goal in this way.

• Set goals in terms of what you will achieve or accomplish (promotion focused). This is great for business people who want to take encourage reasonable risk use positive and optimistic approaches to motivate yourself and your staff. Setting goals that are focused on preventing losses are good if you want to be cautious and careful, and optimism or positive thinking do not worj for these type of goals (prevention focused).

• Set goals aimed at improving yourself. If you believe that you can increase you intelligence (yes you can, investigate the latest in this regard for yourself) you should set goals at improving. Setting goals where you prove yourself, assumes that you cannot improve and that you better prove that you are good enough. The latter belief will also discourage people from trying again when failing the first time. It is well known that success often comes on the back of many failed attempts. Setting goals that are aimed at improvement encourages one to keep on trying, a key factor in success.

Thirdly, develop willpower. By increasing you willpower and discipline in one area you will increase it overall. Think of willpower as a muscle that can be exercised and strengthened.

Fourth and last, share you goal with trusted people who will encourage you and hold you to account. The image of the lone wolf of solitary hero is just that, mostly and image and not reality. We all need people around us to encourage us, to call us to account, to teach us, to coach and mentor us. Develop a team that will nurture you and your dream. Share with them your ideas on how to achieve goals, and ask for help.

I will use a general example related to small business success. Every business probably needs the following.  This is not an exhaustive analysis, but a means to discuss key success factors related to small business success:
1. Customers
2. Products and Services
3. Marketing and promotion
4. Staff
5. Premises
6. Good management and leadership
7. Enough cash flow
8. Sales
9. Profit

To determine whether each factor is key I will not discuss each one in turn, but rather show how one could approach this in a “common-sense” way. Please note, the conclusions reached are not an indication of what ensures small business success, but an illustration of the thought processes that you could employ to reach a determination of which would be key success factors.

I want you to think only about what results you want to achieve. Firstly, you need to make a net profit (#9) (that is the profit after every expense has been taken into account). Secondly, to make a profit you must have customers (#1, that will buy from you. Thirdly, you must have stuff to sell to the customers (products and services #2). It will be good and well to make a profit, but you need to have enough cash on hand (#7) to pay your bills, which requires that you collect your debts, or get paid in cash (always the preferred option). This is stating the ludicrously obvious, but this is my purpose – to illustrate that business in not rocket science, it is about some basic things which needs to be done well.

Now, what factors will ensure that you get customers and have products to sell? What is critical to achieving profit? For every key success factor you want to include, ask yourself it this will ensure that these three things are achieved, or not. For instance, it is unlikely that you will gain any customers without marketing and promoting yourself (#3).

Every item mentioned so far requires that you have staff (#4) do to the work, and that you have premises (#5) where you make your products, or serve your customers, etc.

One can take all day to discuss this, but after all is said and done, you want to know whether the factors you identified will make you more profit, more sales and more customers. If not is it really a key success factor that will ensure small business success?

Lastly, you have to manage and lead (#6) yourself and your staff. Every factor you identify as being critical to small business success, needs to be managed. Nothing happens by itself.

General guidelines for setting business goals

Remember to make all your goals smart – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time bound. Business goals are no different from any other goal in this respect.

Specific areas to focus on when setting business goals

Firstly, no business will survive without profit, so make sure you set this as your first goal. You need to set financial goals related to net profit, gross profit and sales. Secondly, set goals that show how you will achieve your sales. You need to set goals that indicate how many customers you need, as well as what products/services need to be available. Lastly, set some activity goals in the areas of marketing, sales, customer service, leadership & management, and organisation.

What setting business goals will and will not do for you

Goals are there to help you focus on what is important. Goals help you make day to day decisions. You can ask yourself “How does this help me achieve my goals?” for every decision you make, or any action you consider taking. Goals will not outline how you will achieve them. This requires making plans that will get you there, and taking action to achieve those plans.

Make sure you set goals, but keep them small in number. You need to be able to remember them without having to look at your written plans. If you cannot remember your goals you will not be able to make good decisions. A good decision is simply one that moves you towards achieving your goals and bad one take you away from them or makes you go nowhere.

Goals setting may be a simple exercise conceptually, but it quite difficult when you make the goals and keep them SMART.